Fiddlers Green

Maybe we could end world hunger by turning all the internet spam into spam (the canned meat).

<-Angry about spam (on forum).

_________________
-Alex
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If a tree falls in a forest, and no one's around to hear it, who really cares?
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Painter of Airwolf
Current project: A-7 Corsair II Desert Storm

..

Since card modeling hardly qualifies as an aerobic sport, and certain people seem to thing that we should all be out doing things that we don't like--getting all sore and sweaty, , and eating stuff that tastes like animal feed or worse--I went to an expert for an opinion.


HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION WITH DOCTOR BOB...

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products
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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.


Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good deal!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

_________________
-Rob-

Currently working on: see avatar

He is persistant.

_________________
-Alex
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If a tree falls in a forest, and no one's around to hear it, who really cares?
----------
Painter of Airwolf
Current project: A-7 Corsair II Desert Storm

Then maybe some of us should start "being persistent" by finding his IP address and reporting its abuse to his ISP, along with "assorted other digital fun and games"...